Normally I'm fairly confident in my abilities, but over this weekend my mistakes have added up. And now I feel like I've majorly failed.
It's funny how when someone says this about herself, it's our initial reaction to tell her it's untrue. We want people to feel good and competent. We like to keep morale high. But is that what we need to hear?
Maybe. I guess it depends on what's actually been going on. In my case, maybe I'm not such a failure, and maybe I am too hard on myself. It's true that our mistakes don't define us. But I'll tell you what, it makes me think.
I am a failure. I'm not perfect. And thank God that I don't have to be. The blood of Christ washes me clean, and the freedom I find in the Spirit gives me confidence to try again. I'm drowning in a sea of grace, and it is the most beautiful thing. Redemption comes not because we deserve it, but because He is an amazing God who forgives us over and over again. And He still loves us. I'm reminded of a beautiful song by All Sons & Daughters (if you haven't worshiped through their music, do it.) called Brokenness Aside. The chorus goes like this:
I am a sinner
If it's not one thing, it's another
Caught up in words, tangled in lies
But You are a Savior and You take brokenness aside
And make it beautiful, beautiful
We fail, and He frees.
Amen.
