What I was not ready for was the joy and freedom I would come to really know during my summer. The very first week of the summer was rifled with difficult moments, but it was also the first time that I was able to really experience freedom in worship. At the beginning of our week at Hosanna, worship was.. okay. I did the best I could considering that I didn't really know the songs and/or couldn't figure out the lyrics (may I remind you that they were in Spanish). There was a lot of just standing and watching the people around us engage, especially at the Sunday night service where people went nuts. Now, I have already mentioned several times my adopted family in Quepos. Marlon (the worship leader) taught our group the choruses to the songs they would be singing at the church service midweek. We practiced. We learned the meanings. And when the time came for adoracion, we decided to go all in. I have to describe this for it to make sense. At the front of the church is the big open space that fills up with people who are dancing and jumping and singing along during the time of music. Sunday night, we watched. I longed to join in, but something was holding me back. Wednesday night, we ran up and got just as sweaty as everyone else. It may have been the sweatiest time of my life. And you know what? I didn't care. Not one single bit. I was joyously jumping and singing and proclaiming the truths I knew in those songs. (Maybe I cared a little bit as we were sitting down and I realized how disgusting I was!) But the freedom that was in that place was amazing. And for the first time, 2 Cor 3:17 was real. "For the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." One of the songs we sang says, "Soy sano. Soy libre en Jesus. (I am healed. I am free in Jesus.)" And I began to claim that freedom wherever I went in worship. I refuse to let my environment dictate whether or not I will worship with my whole being, in spirit and in truth, whether it be joyous jumping or quiet contemplation.
This began to overflow into all the areas of my life. I feel like the things I was praying and singing were exactly in touch with the Spirit. My prayers became more sincere and more impassioned. I was moved to tears by God's power and strength. I wanted others to catch the vision. I began to seek to know the Spirit more and more. I read Forgotten God by Francis Chan, and I'll share two parts with you. The first is
The world is not moved by love or actions that are of human creation. And the church is not empowered to live differently from any other gathering of people without the Holy Spirit. But when believers live in the power of the Spirit, the evidence in their lives is supernatural. The church cannot help but be different, and the world cannot help but notice.It is through the power of the Holy Spirit that we stand out from the world, not through our own efforts. How silly of us! Are we meeting together, ignoring His presence? Or do our churches look different? An easy test: Do people notice??
The other quote that really stood out to me is actually a quote from JI Packer:
The Christian’s life in all its aspects–intellectual and ethical, devotional and relational, upsurging in worship and outgoing in witness–is supernatural; only the Spirit can initiate and sustain it. So apart from him, not only will there be no lively believers and no lively congregations, there will be no believers and no congregations at all.Both of those quotes talk about the supernatural. Having spent the last 10 years of my life (mostly) at a Presbyterian church, it's not something I am really familiar with. Do we pray for boldness in our outreach and our worship? Do we pray for miracles? Do we even believe that God does miracles today? These things come when we are in touch with the Spirit, because it is through HIS power that we change. Another word that sticks out to me from that is the word "lively." This summer I feel like I learned what it is to be alive in Christ and in the Spirit. not just existing, but ALIVE. For me that word has so much sparkle to it. I look around at some of the people in my life and wonder if they aren't missing out on the ABUNDANT life that Christ came to give us. Why on earth would we trudge through when we can dance and leap and really LIVE?!
I never want to go back. I want to keep learning more. I want to know what giftings are, and I want to use them to bring Him glory. Mostly I want my life to look different so that people notice and come to know the One who is worthy of all praise.
Spirit, thank you for the ways you have revealed yourself to me this year. I want to be sensitive to your movement and your power. Embolden me to live differently and to share with others the joy that comes from knowing you.
