So far, so ..hot

Hi!! I'm here! And have been for a few days! I'll fill you in.

We started our journey by getting held up at the check-in counter at LAX because we didn't purchase visas, relying on my co-leader's experience. He said we could just pay a $20 a day fine for staying past the 30 day allowance. He said it would be cheaper that way. So I chose to trust him. What he didn't know, however, was that Delta airlines will NOT let you leave the country if you are planning to overstay the visa allowance. Thankfully, the airline changed our return date (for free!) to the 14th to get us out on time. The problem is that now we have a huge burden. One option is that we do leave on the 14th and miss our last day of teaching and the celebrations and then have to hold debrief in LA minus a leader. The other is to get our flights changed back to the 18th, which sounds great but will cost us $250 a person. With 4 people flying back, it would add an extra $1,000 to our trip.. money we did not plan to raise. What we really need is a ton of prayer coating this, asking God to show us what he wants for us and/or provide a way to get the tickets changed back for cheaper. But we're here, and have a little bit of time to figure that out. I would like to get it taken care of soon, but it's certainly not a pressing issue.

Anyways, we arrived here a little before midnight on the 16th and had our first day of orientation in the morning on the 17th. We made it through and even managed to focus for the most part. Then we made a trip to the bank and mall, were we exchanged our moneys and got to wander for a bit in the 4 story mall (complete with water park on the roof!). Saturday was the second part of teacher orientation, where we received our assignments and learned how to run the class time. I will be teaching two level one classes, one at 7am and the other at 1 pm. The 6:55am call time doesn't seem too bad right now, because I'm still waking up very early from trying to adjust to time. I hope it remains as easy as it seems right now! The rest of the day was spent going to the fresh market and seeing/smelling all the gross and fragrant products for sale. Did you know that at the fresh market, everything is REALLY fresh? As in.. the chickens are whole.. the fish are ALIVE.. one even flopped itself right into the walkway in front of us! That night we bought all sorts of foreign fruits and had a little fruitscapade in mine and Loly's room. We tried longong, salak, mangosteen, and the infamous durian (now our room smells every time we open the fridge). It really is as bad as everyone says it is. The first bite was the outer section and it wasn't great, but it wasn't so bad. We spent quite a bit of money on it though (8$), so I wasn't going to waste it. I took a second bite, and that was it. No more. It was the worst thing.... I rarely spit something out... but it was that bad. I'll stick with the others. My favorite is rose apple. We tried it and white guava the day before. Random fact: The word for white guava in Thai is farang, whiiich is also the word for foreigner. Go figure. But rose apple.. mmmm! I am going to have to find out if there is anywhere to purchase these beauties in LA because now I don't know if I could live without them. And it's only been 4 days! But during this fruitscapade, I realized how I love my team, and my co-leader was even making me laugh! I finally found appreciation for him as a friend instead of only a guy I had to work with. I saw Jesus that night in how he brought our team together and how I finally cared for them and about them and enjoyed them. It was a beautiful moment. And it eased some of my worry about the unity of our team.

Besides unity and general care for each other, my main concern going into this trip was how much time the team members would be spending apart from each other. We all teach separate classes at different times in the day and then go off with our students to explore the city or eat or whatever. It concerns me as a leader that no one has a cell phone or way to contact others to let them know their whereabouts. As the carrier of the moneys, it also makes keeping track of the budget very difficult. I have to pass out money everyday and then trust that my team gets the receipt and change back to me everyday. It would be so much easier if we had to go everywhere and do everything together. But alas, that would be too simple. Another issue is that most teams do a daily devotional together, but I'm almost certain I won't see everyone everyday, so we are working on trying to find a time to get together at least 3 times in a week. It's strange that we're a "team" but are very much doing individual work. We are even separated into different small groups at the church!

But I have faith it will all be okay. Yesterday was our first day apart. Our cell groups were each doing something different, and my cell group told me that we were to go to the beach in Hua Hin... 4 hours away in central Thailand! My first thought was "Cool! The beach!" My second thought was.. "4 hours away from my team with no way to contact them..??" But off I went. I had to be ready at 5:30am to take the taxi to the train, which would take us there in 3-4 hours. On the way, we stopped at a Buddhist temple called Phra Pathom Chedi, and I got to take a few photos, and since we had a few students with them, they stopped to pray. I prayed over them as they did. We finally made it and at first it was hot while we did our little outreach conversation/lesson/testimony, but it down-poured for a total of 4 minutes tops while we ate lunch under a covered area. But after that, the heat went away, and it was absolutely gorgeous! It was the most beautiful beach! We set down mats on the sand/dirt under trees that could have belonged in a forest.. like pine tree status. But then the sand/dirt was just sand.. and then there was ocean! It was incredible! And the water was so peaceful and warm and teeming with wildlife! We saw so many small crabs and hermit crabs (boo sze-chuan or at least that's how it sounded) and starfish and mollusks! And there were mountains in view, covered with green trees.. and it was the least crowded beach! SO amazing! After we wandered in the water, we went back to the mats and played Uno for a while. We laughed so much! And I got to learn the colors and numbers and "draw two/four" in Thai! :) As I sat there laughing and listening to them speak to each other, I found myself saying, "I could do this." I almost felt like I was on my GLT again, but this time in Thailand. I wished I had the materials for Self-Directed Language Learning with me. But I mean, I had an internship and was spending time alone with Thai people, learning the language and culture. That's the point of GLT. It's almost like I get to redeem the experience by doing it again elsewhere. But besides that.. I really felt like I could do this. It was so normal and so natural that I could very easily see myself hanging out with Thais and enjoying this for a long time. I can't really explain it, so I hope it came across.. I tried re-working that sentence several times, but it still doesn't seem to capture exactly what I wanted to communicate. But that's okay I think. But I thought that was interesting. On the way back, Joy (one of the Filipino missionaries here) and I were talking about long-term versus short-term missions. I told her I once wanted to do long-term, but after my experience in Argentina, I wasn't so sure. I realized I'm afraid of experiencing again that intensity of loneliness. She encouraged me so greatly, saying that impact comes with time. You learn more and grow more all the time and your effectiveness grows with it. I may be open again to that. It depends on what I hear God say to me. It was a redemptive conversation. We also talked about worship and how the church here always used to have foreigners leading and how instead the Thai people need to be equipped. I may have the opportunity to help them.. I don't know that I'm exactly qualified for voice or guitar lessons, but God, use me as you will! When we got back yesterday, some of us stayed out for dinner. They had me try duck beak. You basically eat the throat. I was scared but just bit the bullet and did it. It wasn't bad, but I probably won't ever do it again.. It just creeps me out a little!

Today we have a final teacher's meeting before we begin tomorrow. Pray that God guides our tongues!


******** EDIT************

I took a break in the middle of writing this to call the airport here about changing our flights back. They said it would be $300 per person. We were put on hold and so we prayed. God is SO good, you guys! They changed it back for FREE!! Oh my gosh! I can't even believe it! I mean, I can! But I don't know that I've ever had something so tangible delivered so quickly through prayer!! Praise the Lord!!

Thailand.

Okay. It's been a while. Over a year in fact. A wonderful hellish year full of the most ups and downs I've probably ever experienced. So now begins the blog for the next trip in life. Wednesday I leave for Thailand. And I can't even begin to describe how I feel about it. But I'll try for your sake (and probably my own).

I have no idea what to expect. It's probably best this way because I started the whole experience with expectations and have only been let down. So you're with me, I'll start at the beginning:

Last September (or October?) I applied to co-lead a team to Thailand because I felt God leading me to. I was so excited to meet my co-leader and interview and form a team and all become close as we set off for a new adventure in ministry. I pictured the team being close and that my co-leader and I would be completely balanced and work together perfectly. As you can probably tell from this set up, that is not at all how things have gone. I won't go into all the details, but I am going into this trip feeling totally unprepared, un-united as a team, not viewed at all as a leader, and I feel as if I have nothing to offer. I know that is the perfect place to be for God to step in and use me and the team for his glory. But I also recognize that these are the same feelings I had the first time I went to Argentina. Satan convinced me I was useless and completely debilitated me and kept me from serving to my fullest potential.

I won't lie. I am terrified. What worries me most is that I have no idea what we're getting into and that our team hardly knows or even cares for each other. That is not how mission teams are supposed to be. I struggle with my role in leadership and my purpose in even going. I find myself not even spending time in the Word and in prayer, actively preparing my heart and mind for this journey. This is probably the worst idea, but I don't know how to force myself to do. And I should never have to force myself. I should want to. UGH what is wrong with me?!

So I'll try to be updating this thing while I'm away, but if I can't, PLEASE PLEASE pray your little hearts out for me. I need it more than you know.