I've been in Costa Rica now for 4 days and have been through quite a bit. Back it up a couple of weeks and I have been everywhere emotionally. For the last month or so, I've been under attack. It began with feeling like a failure in more than one arena (check out the last post), and this last week I've been tormented with lies like, "No one wants you here," and "You can't trust anyone by yourself." I've felt lonely and frustrated and angry. I recognize all this as spiritual attack, but that doesn't make it any easier to stand firm. I spent the last two nights in tears because of the stress.
All I know is this: God is stronger.
And every time I start to feel satan's lies creeping up, I put on my armor.
After my last post, I actually sat down and drew a picture of a soldier in all his gear, and wrote out Ephesians 6:10-18. I knew it would be very important for me to be wearing it this summer as I went into trip-leading. Yet somehow, I get distracted in the morning with my devotionals and Bible reading, and forget to prepare for my day with prayer. Sure, I pray casually throughout the day, but for the last few days, it has taken me until my eyes were brimming with tears to really sit down and have a focused time of prayer.
But man. That armor. I know they're all important, but I have a few favorites:
The Belt of Truth: "Stand, therefore, having fastened on the belt of truth.." I heard once from a speaker that belts were invented to hold together two pants (because a pant only covered one leg). I thought that was an interesting connection and a great image of how the belt of truth works in our lives. God's truth literally holds us together. Lately I've been facing attack with what I know about how God created me and what He created me for and how He loves me. I'm still learning to look to Him for my worth, and these challenges are really pushing me to do so!
The Sword of the Spirit: "..and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." Where do we find that awesome truth that holds us together? In the word of God. I think that's so cool. Not only does it keep us together, but it is our weapon! We fight satan's lies with the truths found in His word. For the last couple of days, I've been recalling 2 Corinthians 10:5, Philippians 4:8, and a bunch of other truths that I know are based on Scripture, but I don't know exactly where. It's for this reason that we put those words to memory.
The Shield of Faith: "In all circumstances take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming darts of the evil one." Our faith protects us. We have to believe the truths found in Scripture or satan will pierce right through our flimsy defense. And what's cool about this part of the verse is that it doesn't say the shield just blocks us from being hit by those darts. This faith of ours will extinguish the ammo that burns us. Isaiah 43:2, "..when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you." I just pictured a thousand flaming darts raining down and us walking freely through it in faith. God is there. Always.
Can I get an amen?
Anyway, my first week as trip leader starts tomorrow (today? my assistant trip leaders have arrived!). I'll try to post weekly about the trips and prayer requests and awesome stuff God is doing.
Praise God
- I arrived safely!
- My first two set up meetings went really well (and the second one was entirely in Spanish!)
- My ATLs are here and bringing such life already!
Pray for
- Traveling mercies for the team that is coming and the same for once they arrive!
- That God would be preparing their hearts and the hearts of their hosts in Quepos
- For all the behind the scenes work that I can't forget to do and for the ability to do it well
- For all the PPM trips that are happening in all our countries this summer.
