Pieces.

It's hard to be Missions Coordinator. Not for any requirement of the job, although that can be difficult at times, too. What I'm talking about is hard to describe. For those of us assigned to ministry in specific countries, we end up spending a LOT of time there. We come to know the people and pastors and churches really well. It becomes a little bit like home. Or a lot like home. And then we return to the States. And a little piece of us stays.

Or depending on the connections we've made, many pieces stay.

We return with hearts so full from the blessings we've received and witnessed, from the ways we've seen God move in us and through us and in/through our teams and in/through the churches there. And yet as we are so full, our hearts are also fragmented. We ache for what we've just left behind.

We live in two worlds (and sometimes more!). There are few of us who can make our two lives one. Most of us have a hard time sharing one part of our life with the other. It takes words I don't have to make people understand how I feel. I can't explain life in the States to my friends in Costa Rica. People here in the States can hardly grasp what I'm talking about even though I'm not limited with my English vocabulary. It's hard to accurately describe the feelings that are stuck inside. As a result, I often times feel like no one understands me completely. And as a human, I long to be known completely and loved completely.

And I am. But I have to remember to look to the One who does. Sometimes I get caught up in trying to be understood by my earthly companions, but the truth is, even the closest person would never understand everything. And that longing to be known is supposed to drive us to the One who knows.

Lord, thank you for the small reminders that say, "I have not forgotten you." Thank you for knowing me and understanding me, and loving me still. Even when you can see all the dirt beneath what I try to present as a squeaky clean exterior. God, draw me to you when my heart feels isolated and disconnected. I don't want to look in other places. Spirit, move in ways that I could never imagine to connect both parts of my life. Because only YOU can. Thank you for the blessing that this job is, for the ways I get to see you move in your global kingdom, for reminding me through the longing that YOU are the One who knows me.