Orar

Orar - to pray

So since my last post was about prayer, I thought I'd continue in that vein. This summer I began to really pray. Even before I left, I had begun to meet people who really prayed. I wanted a prayer life that wasn't just half-hearted or meaningless (not that mine were). I simply didn't feel like I knew enough. I am thinking of 4 people specifically who, in the last year, have taught me a lot about prayer. I have a feeling this post will end up looking like an acceptance speech of sorts, but I want to say thank you where thanks are due.

Sarah Mac. Friend, fellow high school ministry leader. Before I was even hired for this position, God placed me in relationship with this girl. Since I met her, her profound prayer life has been something that has inspired me. She knows so much about so many kinds of prayer. I knew I needed to align myself with this friend because she was going to play a big role in my prayer development. I wanted my prayer life to look more like hers. I know she was praying for me when I was gone. And now that I'm back, we pray together so often, covering our ministry and each other in prayer. I love that we challenge and inspire each other to do so.

Anabelli. One of our Costa Rican Contacts. This woman is full of the Spirit. When she prays, she speaks Scripture. She prays verses over people. A woman who knows her Bible that well and just speaks it over people. We joke that she has a direct line to God, but she does. She listens as she prays. She genuinely lifts people up and listens to what God has for them. And then she speaks it in boldness. It is incredible to witness God speaking through her in prayers. She is a passionate woman, unafraid to weep at the beauty or the brokenness she is feeling as she prays. She holds nothing back in prayer.

Jenny. One of my ATLs this summer. This girl is BOLD. She was always praying for miracles. And anything that happened, her first go-to was prayer. For three weeks, I had this woman as an example and inspiration in prayer. She is unafraid to pray for big things, knowing that even if they don't happen now, they can in the future. I learned to make prayer a first reaction rather than an afterthought. During one of our weeks, Jenny came to me, excited about the opportunity to pray for a boy who was severely sick and confined to his bed. He could neither speak nor move nor eat on his own. I want to say that we spent an hour praying over this boy. There were no noticeable changes in him, but it united us with his parents and pastor in purpose and heart. Prayer changes everything.

Shelby. PPM intern/ATL. She knows when she needs to get away. I'm reminded of the many times Jesus escaped to go have time alone to pray. That's Shelby. In our fourth week of ministry, we decided to teach the team about prayer. Shelby spoke on the authority we have in Jesus' name. So much so that nature might even obey. There was one moment a day or so after her lesson that we were having a church meeting, and the rain began to thunder on the tin roof over our heads, drowning out the testimony that was being shared. I began praying that God would hold back the rain, and when I glanced at Shelby, I knew she was doing the same. What excited me was that immediately after that, I sensed a significant change in the volume of the pounding. I found out later in the summer that she is also unafraid to pray for healing. Even multiple times for the same thing. Why do I give up?

Kristy. ATL. She was only in Costa Rica for one week. She had no idea why she needed to be there. And she has no idea of the impact she's made on so many lives, mine included. Kristy is another bold one. She is unashamed to ascribe things to spiritual warfare. She had an old knee injury flare up. She knew it was satan trying to take her attention away, so she asked us to pray for healing. We prayed several times, and each time she chose to BELIEVE she would be healed. Multiple times. Even when nothing changed. And when I came to her broken, she lifted me up and prayed truth over me, and then sent satan packing with his lies.


There are probably a lot of other instances/people I could talk about, but this are who come to mind. I have grown SO much in my prayer life over the last year. What excites me is that I will never be finished learning about how and why we pray or what prayer accomplishes or the many kinds of prayer. It's an exciting journey that I'm glad I don't walk alone.

Know that I'm praying for YOU.

The Lord's Prayer.

A few years ago, my small group and I decided that each of us would rewrite the Lord's prayer in our own words. It was a pretty cool exercise and interesting to hear those prayers through the filters of our individual lives. I want to challenge you to dissect that prayer and see what it means for you. Too often we pray it routinely, but forget to MEAN it. And if we don't mean it, what good is our prayer?

So.. that being said, here's mine:

Abba Father, Daddy God
You are so so big and so so good!
You deserve all of my adoration all of my days.
I want to see you move
In my, through me, all around me and all throughout the world.
May you get the glory in everything I do;
It is your name I want to make known.
Father, fill me with your love today
so that others may feel your love through me.
Teach me and provide for me, even in ways that I may not recognize.
Search my heart and show me where I fall short.
Keep me humble to admit my mistakes and to forgive those who've hurt or wronged me.
Protect my heart, mind, and body from satan's tricks in whatever ways he may attack.
I want nothing to keep me from you!
You alone, and no one else, deserve all honor, glory, power and praise.
In your name,
Let it be!

Processing: Me. (Part 1)

I learned a lot this summer. A LOT. About myself, leadership, Costa Rica, prayer, the Holy Spirit.. just to name a few. A lot of people I know who keep blogs have different series that they write about. I may give this a go. And by "may," I mean I will. So here's to Processing!

I don't even know where to begin. But I guess that's why it's so important to process everything I've done and learned this summer. I don't want to forget it! But I also don't want to keep those things private. I want to share what God is doing in my life in hopes that it will encourage you to look at what He's doing in your life! So here we go.

Me. I learned a lot about me. I suppose that's really broad and that each of these processing blogs will be about me, but I'm the one writing, so deal with it. :)

I don't trust easily. That's been brought to my attention several times this year. And maybe it's one of the reasons that God keeps telling me to simply trust him-- He knows my tendency to trust only myself.

Before I left for the summer I learned a song by Hillsong called Oceans. And the bridge of that song was my prayer over and over again:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet have ever wandered
And my faith would be made stronger in the presence of my Savior

 "Where my trust is without borders." That's a huge thing for me to pray. If you sincerely pray that bridge, you are asking for some seriously growth. And as we all know, that growth never comes easy.

So going into the summer I had never led a PPM trip, and I'd only been on a total of 3. I was under spiritual attack that first week, causing me to distrust even my coworker who was with me. I felt isolated, and didn't trust anyone save for myself to get things done. This song came to me again as I sat watching the waves in a moment of brokenness.

The following week was WAY better, and I was forced to trust our contact in Costa Rica because only she knew the details of everything. And on my birthday (of all days) I was forced to trust my ATL (assistant trip leader) because I was so stressed out that my brain wasn't comprehending Spanish. She was more than capable of handling the situation, and for that I was grateful.

The third week, 3 of the staff from my first experience rejoined me, and I was faced with the fact that I knew they also distrusted my leadership. I was so stressed out by this that I finally confided in my two ATLs  from week 2. Breakdown #3. I waded out in the ocean because somehow I felt that's what I needed to do. And the words from the song came to me again. I should probably mention that the chorus is equally as impactful for me:

I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves when oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours, and You are mine

After having prayed the bridge, it's so important to come back to this chorus because those waves WILL rise. We pray for growth, and then God gives us the opportunity to do so. But the beautiful thing is that we remember to call on His name and REST. Because we are his, and nothing will separate us from that love.

So back to the summer trust synopsis.. Week 4 ATLs: Jenny (Spanish speaker/lifesaver/trusted friend from weeks 2/3; Shelby and Luis (ATLs from week 1/3). This is the week we began to work together better (amen!). It was the week that Luis confronted me and told me that I needed to trust them more. It was the week in which I chose to be vulnerable and tell my staff some difficult parts of my life. Sure, it's easy for me to tell people facts about my life, but it's another thing to let people see how it affects me. But when I let down my walls, it was easier for me to see that they were there for me. And I trusted them more.

Week 7 brought 2 more ATLs in addition to Shelby and Luis. It was again difficult for me to trust new people, but it was a good thing I now trusted the first two! This was a week where I was spiritually attacked about judging others. Knowing that I needed to trust all of my staff, I went out with the new ATLs and shared how I was feeling. I knew I needed to be vulnerable. But I hate it. Breakdown #4. And the beautiful thing is that these two ATLs scooped me up and put me right back in the arms of my Savior. They prayed with me, spoke truth over me, encouraged me. It's how the body of Christ should be. But we must trust each other to get there.

Lastly, week 8. The final week. A crazy week where pretty much all of our plans fell through. The week where I had to trust that God's plan was better than mine. (See previous post.) And guess what? It was. And even in the confusion, I rested in His embrace. I knew it was going to be okay. For I am His, and He is mine.

Here it is (Spanish subtitles included!). Take a moment and rest and pray these words:

At War

Week 8, the final week of the summer. Lake Murray Baptist Church from Lexington, South Carolina. Ministry in Bagaces, more specifically the communities of Salitral, Monte Redondo, and Montano.

God came through in a big way this week. Due to unforeseen external circumstances, we were unable to setup the specifics of this trip prior to the group's arrival. We only had a basic itinerary. Door to Door evangelism, VBS at a school, serving lunch to people who live/work in a landfill. Of these we were only able to go door to door.

You see, at this point in the year in Costa Rica, there is a huge festival/pilgrimage to Cartago (Central Costa Rica) to see/pray to la Negrita, a special statue of the virgin of los Angeles. The most pious of those who walk the 22km from San Jose complete the last 100m or so on their knees. It's a huge Catholic holiday. We had no idea that the spiritual oppression would affect our ministry so much.

Though we had previously received approval for our group to spend time at the school, the director rescinded his offer of welcome simply for the fact that we were evangelicals. This was an easy fix; we instead hung out at a soccer field nearby, and the kids came to us! As for serving lunch, someone had told these people about us before we arrived and were offended by the idea that we thought they needed our help. We worked around this by inviting all the families (whose kids we played with everyday) to join us for a dinner and a viewing of the Jesus film in that same open area.

Even though we were able to go door to door in the areas, we definitely faced rejection. The week prior to this, the team had been invited into homes and allowed to share. This week we had outright refusal to listen, and doors shut in our faces. It was quite the change.

All of this oppression/persecution opened up discussion for us about spiritual warfare and led to meaningful times of prayer for the communities we served in.

All was not lost though. Ironically, on our last day of ministry, we went to another community where we once attended church. Our contact asked if we wanted to visit the school there. Even though I was full of doubt, I figured it couldn't hurt to try. Lo and behold, we pull up to the school, spend 10 minutes talking to the director, and then we were in! Granted we were only allowed 40 minutes.. but still! We had tried all week to get into one school and were refused, and then it was like God said, "Look what I can do!" Awesome.


Highlights from Bagaces (Aug 3-10): 

• Driving the beast of a van, Charlie
• Feeling the Holy Spirit working in me and speaking through me
• Finishing the summer with a gold brooch (Spanish saying)

Praise God:

• For the ways he proved himself mighty
• For becoming closer with my ATLs
• For the student who decided to start living for Christ in both word and deed
• For a flexible group leader who understands that things don't always go as we plan!
• A RENEWAL!!!! THEY SIGNED UP TO GO AGAIN NEXT YEAR!!

Pray for:

• Light to break through the darkness in that area
• The church to do ministry in a healthy way that draws people to Christ
• Our contact Anabelli, who needs funds to keep her ministry base open

Aaand the trip journal link: http://www.prayingpelicanmissions.org/journals?tripid=1996