After all, to Stand.

I had coffee this morning with a wonderful woman who gave ear to my struggles and triumphs in these last few months. At one point in the conversation she told me it took her a while to realize that in Ephesians 6:13 and in James 4:7, we are not told to go out on the offensive.

Eph 6:13: Therefore take up the whole armor of God, that you may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand firm.

James 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.

He never asks us to go after satan or his minions. He doesn't tell us to attack. Only to stand.

I got a picture of an army holding rank as the enemy comes near. They have their armor. They are ready. Yet they do not run towards the battle. They fight when it is time, but they do not break rank. Whatever it is they are protecting is fully secure behind them.

That was a powerful image. Standing firm, standing guard.

Psalm 16:8 I have set the LORD always before me; because he is at my right hand, I will not be shaken.

#firstworldproblems

The Ultimate Mission Trip Style Guide: Dressing the Heart.

“The Ultimate Mission Trip Style Guide.” – tips and tricks from Praying Pelican Missions lady missionaries on how to look good, feel good and take the pressure off of packing your suitcase for a new culture, climate and lifestyle. Our heart is to remove the anxiety and focus from timeless questions like: “What do I wear?” and give you a few tips that we’ve learned throughout the years. Ultimately, we pray that these posts would be a resource for you as you prepare for your trip. We want to provide you with a few tools that can help you remain focused on what God is teaching you and doing around you during your time abroad, instead of the length of your shorts, the style of your still-wet hair or how much make-up is appropriate. But of course, throughout it all, we must have fun in the process!

The heart of what we do is ministry to the heart. So while it's fun to talk about mission trip fashion and looking good while serving, that's probably the least of our worries on a trip. Our concern is that you, our lovely missions participant, are seeing people and places and our glorious God the way we do. So here are my tips and tricks for how to dress your heart for missions.

1. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. (Ephesians 6:11-12)

Even before you leave your home, while you're packing, clothe yourself in the armor of God. We can get caught up so easily in the way we present our outward appearance. If you're like me, satan will use that at times to take your attention off of what really matters. This is the MOST IMPORTANT thing you can wear while on the mission field.. even more important that deodorant or sunscreen! I wrote a post a while ago on what I was learning about spiritual armor, so if you're interested check it out!

2. Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. (Proverbs 4:23)

Let's face it. We live in a world where media dictates "worthiness." You have to be tall, pretty, skinny, wear the right clothes, say the right things, keep from saying/wearing the wrong ones.. man! That is tiring. Like I said before, it's easy to get caught up in that mindset, too. So along with wearing your spiritual armor, specifically guard your heart. In James' letter, he writes:

Religion that God our Father accepts are pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. (1:27)

Yes! That's what we aim to do on these trips! To seek and love those in distress! Now if we could only get a grasp on keeping ourselves from being polluted by the world.. That part seems a little harder to me, especially because sometimes we don't even recognize the way lies make their homes our hearts. That's where more prayer comes in.

3. Search me, O God, and know my heart!    Try me and know my thoughts! And see if there be any grievous way in me,    and lead me in the way everlasting! (Psalm 139:23-24)

I do not want to fall for any of the lies that satan tries to manipulate me with, and I do not want to place others under that weight either. I assume you're with me on that! As we prepare for service today and every day, on this soil or that in a foreign land, let us lift each other up in prayer.


Father, I thank you for all the women who are on this journey with me, those I've met and those I haven't. I pray now that you show us the lies that we've been believing about ourselves and our beauty. Release us from the fear that accompanies a bad hair day. Let us walk boldly in your name to love the lost, no matter what we look like. Remind us to enjoy beauty because you created it, but to guard our hearts, Lord, that we may not become obsessed by it. We place on every piece of the armor of God so that we may stand firm today and everyday. In your wonderful and holy name, Amen.

Forgotten God

This summer I learned so much about the Holy Spirit and the spiritual realm. But I don't think it was so much factual knowledge as it was finally gaining experiential knowledge.

I knew I was going to experience a lot of spiritual warfare going into the summer, and I definitely did. I began to recognize a few of the ways satan was trying to distract me and refused to fall for it anymore. Then I began to fall for his lies in other ways. But I was so blessed to be surrounded by people who would speak truth over me and pray for me.

What I was not ready for was the joy and freedom I would come to really know during my summer. The very first week of the summer was rifled with difficult moments, but it was also the first time that I was able to really experience freedom in worship. At the beginning of our week at Hosanna, worship was.. okay. I did the best I could considering that I didn't really know the songs and/or couldn't figure out the lyrics (may I remind you that they were in Spanish). There was a lot of just standing and watching the people around us engage, especially at the Sunday night service where people went nuts. Now, I have already mentioned several times my adopted family in Quepos. Marlon (the worship leader) taught our group the choruses to the songs they would be singing at the church service midweek. We practiced. We learned the meanings. And when the time came for adoracion, we decided to go all in. I have to describe this for it to make sense. At the front of the church is the big open space that fills up with people who are dancing and jumping and singing along during the time of music. Sunday night, we watched. I longed to join in, but something was holding me back. Wednesday night, we ran up and got just as sweaty as everyone else. It may have been the sweatiest time of my life. And you know what? I didn't care. Not one single bit. I was joyously jumping and singing and proclaiming the truths I knew in those songs. (Maybe I cared a little bit as we were sitting down and I realized how disgusting I was!) But the freedom that was in that place was amazing. And for the first time, 2 Cor 3:17 was real. "For the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." One of the songs we sang says, "Soy sano. Soy libre en Jesus. (I am healed. I am free in Jesus.)" And I began to claim that freedom wherever I went in worship. I refuse to let my environment dictate whether or not I will worship with my whole being, in spirit and in truth, whether it be joyous jumping or quiet contemplation.

This began to overflow into all the areas of my life. I feel like the things I was praying and singing were exactly in touch with the Spirit. My prayers became more sincere and more impassioned. I was moved to tears by God's power and strength. I wanted others to catch the vision. I began to seek to know the Spirit more and more. I read Forgotten God by Francis Chan, and I'll share two parts with you. The first is

The world is not moved by love or actions that are of human creation. And the church is not empowered to live differently from any other gathering of people without the Holy Spirit. But when believers live in the power of the Spirit, the evidence in their lives is supernatural. The church cannot help but be different, and the world cannot help but notice.

It is through the power of the Holy Spirit that we stand out from the world, not through our own efforts. How silly of us! Are we meeting together, ignoring His presence? Or do our churches look different? An easy test: Do people notice??

The other quote that really stood out to me is actually a quote from JI Packer:

The Christian’s life in all its aspects–intellectual and ethical, devotional and relational, upsurging in worship and outgoing in witness–is supernatural; only the Spirit can initiate and sustain it. So apart from him, not only will there be no lively believers and no lively congregations, there will be no believers and no congregations at all.

Both of those quotes talk about the supernatural. Having spent the last 10 years of my life (mostly) at a Presbyterian church, it's not something I am really familiar with. Do we pray for boldness in our outreach and our worship? Do we pray for miracles? Do we even believe that God does miracles today? These things come when we are in touch with the Spirit, because it is through HIS power that we change. Another word that sticks out to me from that is the word "lively." This summer I feel like I learned what it is to be alive in Christ and in the Spirit. not just existing, but ALIVE. For me that word has so much sparkle to it. I look around at some of the people in my life and wonder if they aren't missing out on the ABUNDANT life that Christ came to give us. Why on earth would we trudge through when we can dance and leap and really LIVE?!

I never want to go back. I want to keep learning more. I want to know what giftings are, and I want to use them to bring Him glory. Mostly I want my life to look different so that people notice and come to know the One who is worthy of all praise.

Spirit, thank you for the ways you have revealed yourself to me this year. I want to be sensitive to your movement and your power. Embolden me to live differently and to share with others the joy that comes from knowing you.

Orar

Orar - to pray

So since my last post was about prayer, I thought I'd continue in that vein. This summer I began to really pray. Even before I left, I had begun to meet people who really prayed. I wanted a prayer life that wasn't just half-hearted or meaningless (not that mine were). I simply didn't feel like I knew enough. I am thinking of 4 people specifically who, in the last year, have taught me a lot about prayer. I have a feeling this post will end up looking like an acceptance speech of sorts, but I want to say thank you where thanks are due.

Sarah Mac. Friend, fellow high school ministry leader. Before I was even hired for this position, God placed me in relationship with this girl. Since I met her, her profound prayer life has been something that has inspired me. She knows so much about so many kinds of prayer. I knew I needed to align myself with this friend because she was going to play a big role in my prayer development. I wanted my prayer life to look more like hers. I know she was praying for me when I was gone. And now that I'm back, we pray together so often, covering our ministry and each other in prayer. I love that we challenge and inspire each other to do so.

Anabelli. One of our Costa Rican Contacts. This woman is full of the Spirit. When she prays, she speaks Scripture. She prays verses over people. A woman who knows her Bible that well and just speaks it over people. We joke that she has a direct line to God, but she does. She listens as she prays. She genuinely lifts people up and listens to what God has for them. And then she speaks it in boldness. It is incredible to witness God speaking through her in prayers. She is a passionate woman, unafraid to weep at the beauty or the brokenness she is feeling as she prays. She holds nothing back in prayer.

Jenny. One of my ATLs this summer. This girl is BOLD. She was always praying for miracles. And anything that happened, her first go-to was prayer. For three weeks, I had this woman as an example and inspiration in prayer. She is unafraid to pray for big things, knowing that even if they don't happen now, they can in the future. I learned to make prayer a first reaction rather than an afterthought. During one of our weeks, Jenny came to me, excited about the opportunity to pray for a boy who was severely sick and confined to his bed. He could neither speak nor move nor eat on his own. I want to say that we spent an hour praying over this boy. There were no noticeable changes in him, but it united us with his parents and pastor in purpose and heart. Prayer changes everything.

Shelby. PPM intern/ATL. She knows when she needs to get away. I'm reminded of the many times Jesus escaped to go have time alone to pray. That's Shelby. In our fourth week of ministry, we decided to teach the team about prayer. Shelby spoke on the authority we have in Jesus' name. So much so that nature might even obey. There was one moment a day or so after her lesson that we were having a church meeting, and the rain began to thunder on the tin roof over our heads, drowning out the testimony that was being shared. I began praying that God would hold back the rain, and when I glanced at Shelby, I knew she was doing the same. What excited me was that immediately after that, I sensed a significant change in the volume of the pounding. I found out later in the summer that she is also unafraid to pray for healing. Even multiple times for the same thing. Why do I give up?

Kristy. ATL. She was only in Costa Rica for one week. She had no idea why she needed to be there. And she has no idea of the impact she's made on so many lives, mine included. Kristy is another bold one. She is unashamed to ascribe things to spiritual warfare. She had an old knee injury flare up. She knew it was satan trying to take her attention away, so she asked us to pray for healing. We prayed several times, and each time she chose to BELIEVE she would be healed. Multiple times. Even when nothing changed. And when I came to her broken, she lifted me up and prayed truth over me, and then sent satan packing with his lies.


There are probably a lot of other instances/people I could talk about, but this are who come to mind. I have grown SO much in my prayer life over the last year. What excites me is that I will never be finished learning about how and why we pray or what prayer accomplishes or the many kinds of prayer. It's an exciting journey that I'm glad I don't walk alone.

Know that I'm praying for YOU.

The Lord's Prayer.

A few years ago, my small group and I decided that each of us would rewrite the Lord's prayer in our own words. It was a pretty cool exercise and interesting to hear those prayers through the filters of our individual lives. I want to challenge you to dissect that prayer and see what it means for you. Too often we pray it routinely, but forget to MEAN it. And if we don't mean it, what good is our prayer?

So.. that being said, here's mine:

Abba Father, Daddy God
You are so so big and so so good!
You deserve all of my adoration all of my days.
I want to see you move
In my, through me, all around me and all throughout the world.
May you get the glory in everything I do;
It is your name I want to make known.
Father, fill me with your love today
so that others may feel your love through me.
Teach me and provide for me, even in ways that I may not recognize.
Search my heart and show me where I fall short.
Keep me humble to admit my mistakes and to forgive those who've hurt or wronged me.
Protect my heart, mind, and body from satan's tricks in whatever ways he may attack.
I want nothing to keep me from you!
You alone, and no one else, deserve all honor, glory, power and praise.
In your name,
Let it be!

Processing: Me. (Part 1)

I learned a lot this summer. A LOT. About myself, leadership, Costa Rica, prayer, the Holy Spirit.. just to name a few. A lot of people I know who keep blogs have different series that they write about. I may give this a go. And by "may," I mean I will. So here's to Processing!

I don't even know where to begin. But I guess that's why it's so important to process everything I've done and learned this summer. I don't want to forget it! But I also don't want to keep those things private. I want to share what God is doing in my life in hopes that it will encourage you to look at what He's doing in your life! So here we go.

Me. I learned a lot about me. I suppose that's really broad and that each of these processing blogs will be about me, but I'm the one writing, so deal with it. :)

I don't trust easily. That's been brought to my attention several times this year. And maybe it's one of the reasons that God keeps telling me to simply trust him-- He knows my tendency to trust only myself.

Before I left for the summer I learned a song by Hillsong called Oceans. And the bridge of that song was my prayer over and over again:

Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet have ever wandered
And my faith would be made stronger in the presence of my Savior

 "Where my trust is without borders." That's a huge thing for me to pray. If you sincerely pray that bridge, you are asking for some seriously growth. And as we all know, that growth never comes easy.

So going into the summer I had never led a PPM trip, and I'd only been on a total of 3. I was under spiritual attack that first week, causing me to distrust even my coworker who was with me. I felt isolated, and didn't trust anyone save for myself to get things done. This song came to me again as I sat watching the waves in a moment of brokenness.

The following week was WAY better, and I was forced to trust our contact in Costa Rica because only she knew the details of everything. And on my birthday (of all days) I was forced to trust my ATL (assistant trip leader) because I was so stressed out that my brain wasn't comprehending Spanish. She was more than capable of handling the situation, and for that I was grateful.

The third week, 3 of the staff from my first experience rejoined me, and I was faced with the fact that I knew they also distrusted my leadership. I was so stressed out by this that I finally confided in my two ATLs  from week 2. Breakdown #3. I waded out in the ocean because somehow I felt that's what I needed to do. And the words from the song came to me again. I should probably mention that the chorus is equally as impactful for me:

I will call upon Your name
And keep my eyes above the waves when oceans rise
My soul will rest in Your embrace
For I am Yours, and You are mine

After having prayed the bridge, it's so important to come back to this chorus because those waves WILL rise. We pray for growth, and then God gives us the opportunity to do so. But the beautiful thing is that we remember to call on His name and REST. Because we are his, and nothing will separate us from that love.

So back to the summer trust synopsis.. Week 4 ATLs: Jenny (Spanish speaker/lifesaver/trusted friend from weeks 2/3; Shelby and Luis (ATLs from week 1/3). This is the week we began to work together better (amen!). It was the week that Luis confronted me and told me that I needed to trust them more. It was the week in which I chose to be vulnerable and tell my staff some difficult parts of my life. Sure, it's easy for me to tell people facts about my life, but it's another thing to let people see how it affects me. But when I let down my walls, it was easier for me to see that they were there for me. And I trusted them more.

Week 7 brought 2 more ATLs in addition to Shelby and Luis. It was again difficult for me to trust new people, but it was a good thing I now trusted the first two! This was a week where I was spiritually attacked about judging others. Knowing that I needed to trust all of my staff, I went out with the new ATLs and shared how I was feeling. I knew I needed to be vulnerable. But I hate it. Breakdown #4. And the beautiful thing is that these two ATLs scooped me up and put me right back in the arms of my Savior. They prayed with me, spoke truth over me, encouraged me. It's how the body of Christ should be. But we must trust each other to get there.

Lastly, week 8. The final week. A crazy week where pretty much all of our plans fell through. The week where I had to trust that God's plan was better than mine. (See previous post.) And guess what? It was. And even in the confusion, I rested in His embrace. I knew it was going to be okay. For I am His, and He is mine.

Here it is (Spanish subtitles included!). Take a moment and rest and pray these words: