There goes almost another week without writing. I guess I should write more often so that I can process more quickly. But this week has been a heck of a week. Tuesday night when I got home from my internship, I found that I had been tagged again in one of those stupid "25 things" blogs. So I decided to do it. But I wanted to be different, so I decided to write about ways that I have changed or things I've learned since moving to LA. And I did not expect the response I got. At all. People were challenging me left and right on my opinion. Crazyness ensued. Everyday until Sunday I had received some sort of feedback on my note. But I'll donate an extra section to that on this blog.
Wednesday was another day to make me angry at the systems in the world. We discussed education. I learned that California used to be around 34th in ranking on how much money was spent per pupil in public schooling. With the recent budget cuts, we now are at 50th. Dead last. I was SO angry. Ignorant people perpetuate the problems we already have! But yea, back to the day. We went to visit Los Angeles Leadership Academy, a charter school about a block away from the regional center. They are doing good things there, approaching education differently than the failing LAUSD. But still, it's really disappointing to hear that privilege (yet again) has a lot to do with how far one advances in their education. I'm tearing up even thinking about it again. It's just not fair. All men were not created equal. Some were born into lives that will never allow them the luxuries that I have without even asking for them. Afer our site visit, we briefly went over some environment issues. Okay, we watched a movie on the LA river- we didn't really say much. But since it was our last class, we let out a little bit early and all went to get yogurt! Yay for our class! Then Alicia, Jessi, Christy and I went to protest the American Idol producers for not giving their writers proper pay or benefits. They won't even acknowledge that their shows have writers. Even though they are part of the screen writers' union. But how ironic is it that I saw the contestants at church on Sunday and then protested the show on Wednesday! After that most of the students met up at Alice's restaurant (she's the homestay mom for Brianna and Bethel) and then we went over to their house and played fax machine. It's such a bomb game. The best. I need to teach everyone at some point. After the hilariousness was over, I looked at the bus times and saw that the next bus didn't come til 10:58. Juanita told me to stay there because it wasn't safe to come home at that time. So that was my first night away from home!
It kinda sucked, though, because I had to find some of their clothes to wear for my internshipon Thursday, but it worked out. They were only barely too small or too big. Manageable. My presentation was fine. The meeting was a lot more casual than I had anticipated. It was overall a good day. I liked the interaction with other people! Later, I went back to Angelus Temple with Jonathan and Josh (because they hadn't been to church yet, and I needed people in my group for the presentation). Another show. But I do recognize and admire that they such a service to the community around them and for those who are hurting.
Friday morning, Lydia woke up sick again. Worse than any previous time. So she didn't come to school. And I went early so we could type our outline for our presentation. But I don't know whhy I had to go early. I could have typed it on my own, because that's what I ended up doing anyways. But whatevs. If you want it done right, you do it yourself. Turns out, though, that the church we were supposed to go to was West Angeles something. Woops. But I'm pretty sure P. Diddy won't dock us too many points. Not worried. At the end of class, the LA101 group from APU joined us, and we had a presentation from Night Light. Human Trafficking. I don't know why, but that gets me more than a lot of other injustices. It brings me to tears almost every time. After class, Jessi went with me to buy soup and gatorade for Lydia. Then we went to gather my stuff and her stuff and got ready to go dancing! We met at Brianna's and then were off to the Ruby! I think I've been there at least 4 times. I need a new place. But the outside was totally redone this time! I was impressed. We had mucho fun. It was grand ole times. Then Jessi and I stayed the night with Brianna.
Saturday I went home. My parents came and picked me up and we went home, my mom and I discussing my note pretty much the entire ride. I watched Taken with them, then started my reading for class. We're now beginning Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.'s autobiography. I'm excited for it because Shane Claiborne talked about it so much.
Sunday, I woke up bright and early to get to church by 8. My mom wanted me to sing with her in the choir for first service, so I did. It was kind of a fun song, too. Then after that, I went over o the gym to practice for third service, because Dino (my high school pastor) had asked me to sing with him. That was fun, too. After church, I went to the Macaroni Grill with my parents. I had been craving Italian food for the longest time. And there, we talked a little bit more about what I was learning in class. Mostly discussing socialism vs. capitalism. Then we went home, I did my paper, and went back to church again. Dino had asked me to lead worship for the high school group. It was alright. The coolest thing, though, had to be when I thought I had started out off key. So I didn't sing the second line of the song, but allowed them to get me back on. But when I heard them singing, I didn't want to come back in. They didn't need me. So I just nodded for them to continue without me, and I just kept playing while they sang together. It was beautiful. That was that for Sunday.
Monday, I woke up and got my hair trimmedish. And then went to the chiropractor (one of the parts I was most excited for), and basically told me that I was an idiot for not taking care of my ankle. He told me that I should have been icing it everyday, not just the first day. I figured that, but whatever. I'm now to ice it for no more thatn 20 minutes at least three times a day. Then maybe the underlying swelling in the deep tissue will go away. No doctor necessary. :) Thanks for the prayers! Then My dad and I went out to lunch with my grandparents at Applebees. It was good to see them, too. And after that, we hit the road. I have to admit, I wasn't super excited to be coming back, but I knew I had to. Laura (Lydia's old roommate and the one who moved into my room when I left) came and visited Lydia and we all had a dance party and snacked and just generally had a good time for a few hours. Then she left, and we went to bed.
Today I did not want to wake up. I did not want to go to my internship. I did not want to be in LA. I wanted to be home with my parents, away from the city and its problems. Then I waited over 30 minutes for the bus and then another 20 minutes for my second bus. I was an hour late to work, but still left at the normal time, just because I dislike it so much. One good thing is that someone brought in gumbo and jambalaya for everyone to eat for our Phat Tuesday lunch. On my way home I thought about why I didn't want to be here. It came down to satan. He wants me to lose hope. He wants that I do nothing with what I've learned. So I need your prayers to fight against that spirit of despair.
I now need to address the note that I wrote, though I'm over the drama of it all. I wote something about being more liberal now, and people jumped on that. I didn't necessarily mean governmentwise. I like the ideas, but I don't necessarily think that the government should be the ones implementing htem. The church should pick up the slack. I feel as though there are a lot of things the government wouldn't have to do if the church were doing its job concerning the orphans and the widows and the poor in general. And I know Jesus would pick neither party, but I was simply saying that I feel the ideals of the left side more accurately reflect Jesus than many of those on the right side, the side with which the church is most closely aligned. Now do you see my thought process? And I made the claim that I thought homosexuals should be able to be pastors because their sins are no worse than our own. But since then, I have talked with wise counsel (my mommy) and have reconsidered. But let me say that in my mind, I had not defined pastor as one who has chosen to live above reproach. I had defined pastor in my mind as a normal human being who struggles with sin, but happens to have the gift of preaching. So that's where I was coming from. But as my mother and I talked, I realized that pastor is something different from that. Pastors choose to live setting an example for those they teach. So now I will say that homosexuals can make great teachers, showing us other perspectives that we may miss, but that the pastoral position is reserved for someone who has given up a sinful lifestyle. So in that sense, yes- a reformed homosexual may be my pastor. Because he has renounced the life he once used to live. Yes? Yes. I'm pretty sure those were the two bigest claims that everyone was so very unhappy about. But there they are. I addressed them, and now I'm moving on with my blog.
Prayer requests. Continue to pray for me as I work out these types of issues. Pray that I use my Bible correctly to find true support for what I should or shouldn't believe. Pray that satan be hushed in his attempt to squelch my passion for this world. Also pray that I find a way to enjoy my internship, rather than feeling stuck and isolated. Pray for this upcoming class (Immigrant LA), that God would open our eyes to what He wants us to know about those coming to our country. And that my roommate and I are able to bond more and more. Pray for my summer plans, because I have no idea what they are at this point. I have a basic outline, but no specifics, so yea.
And at this point, I will say farewell.
Grace and peace to you, and God bless.
Tracy
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